I spent some time today out taking pictures of flowers and gelato with my daughter, the light of my life, and I realized how much I’ve been missing this creative outlet of photography, and how much joy it brings me – both to explore it on my own and to share it with her.
What’s interesting about this whole endeavor and this feeling of missing the creativity of it is that I don’t really consider myself a creative person. I’ve always said that my husband is the creative one, I’m the bookish one. I’ve always downplayed my creative side – my response to “Oh you’re a photographer!” is usually a self-deprecating “No, not really. I’m just learning, I’m not very good.” When friends have asked me to take photos for them I’ve been afraid to – afraid to fail. I didn’t think I was good enough. I’ve been afraid to call myself a photographer.
Lately I’ve been reading a lot about self-limiting beliefs, and how so much of our point of view is shaped by the stories that we tell ourselves. It’s made me start thinking – what are the stories that I tell myself? What are my self-limiting beliefs? How am I holding myself back simply by telling myself that I’m not good enough? How much fear and apprehension am I instilling in my own mind and attitudes?
How do I stop?
I will change the stories that I tell myself. I will stop self-sabotaging with my own thoughts. I will take a lot of photographs and a lot of them will be really bad, and some will be good. I will learn endlessly. I will create.
It will take time, and it will take practice, but I want to live my life heart forward, and it all begins inside my own mind. I embrace the challenge and look forward to the adventure.
I am a photographer.